The 25 coolest things to do on ships

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JK
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The 25 coolest things to do on ships

Postby JK » Tue Sep 09, 2014 3:42 am

http://www.stuff.co.nz/travel/cruisi...to-do-on-ships

As the saying goes, cruising used to be for the "newly wed, over-fed and nearly dead".

The article starts out with "So what's happened in the past five or 10 years to make it so popular" for the punters.

Well for the professionals here, I have massaged the list a bit for our reality:

SMOOTH MOVES -ontop an engine block at sea and having the bridge call, forcing you to swing like a monkey down to deck level
see also COCOA NUTS
FLEX APPEAL-upper arm motion while torquing heads
TRAINING IT - the 3 deck, stairmaster engineroom
TUNE UP singing at the top of your lungs beside a running engine because no one can hear you
CAUSE YOU SHOULD - because if you don't your ass is grass
SLIP SLIDING AWAY-what you do in the N.Atlantic on a bulker in the late fall
QUANTUM LEAP - that initutive leap in concuiousness that occures when the #$% bowl won't close on the Alfa Laval purifier
MAKING WAVES -lower deck lawyers
WALK THE PLANK -what the CE does in Panama
TOTALLY OARSOME -when the main engine suddenly quits after a unpleasant death throe involving much thrashing, banging and spewing of copious amounts of oil, despite frantic,
HOCUS POCUS-and chanting
SOUNDS FISHY -CE's letter to Super, which is a
SURPRISE, SURPRISE to said Super
LIFE IN THE RAW what you see on the lower deck after exiting lower engineroom door, after work hours when the deck gang is showering
SIP SHAPE - hopefully your duty oiler or QM is not this on watch and
ACTING UP
FRAME GAME what the CE and 2nd may be doing to the unsuspecting watchkeeping engineer after said engine failure
LIFE IN THE RAW dealing with a psycotic crewmember who just found out that the newly minted ex has used power of attorney to sell house and abscond with profits
BE A TECHSPERT -figuring out what is wrong with the propulsion control when you have had little or no training on said obsolete system which is stone age analogue instead of digital
CANVASSING INTEREST -newly arrived on crewchange and everyone else there is 100 days in the trip and just ain't interested
GAG ORDER- the Chief Officer doesn't really need to know next port of call and cargo
MORE INCLUSIONS-different cargos in different holds
MORE PORTS OF CALL- spot contracts, see GAG ORDER
MORE SOFT ADVENTURE CRUISES-a company desperately try to lure certificated officers with false advertising, it will be adventurous, but not soft nor cruises
MORE FOR FOODIES-a good feeder ship with a Master who cares what he eats as opposed to one who'll eat any old shite set in front of him
MORE INTERNET ACCESS until you unplug from shore

Wyatt
Officer of the Watch
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Currently located: Victoria

Re: The 25 coolest things to do on ships

Postby Wyatt » Sun Sep 14, 2014 6:59 pm

JK, this is way to funny and way to real!!!!

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JK
Enduring Contributor
Posts: 2697
Joined: Tue Sep 04, 2007 2:29 am
Currently located: East Coast, Canada

Re: The 25 coolest things to do on ships

Postby JK » Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:33 am

The sad part is that they are all real happenings to me or others I worked with through the years.


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